Afterwards, all they remember is the microwave crème brûlée

Ripped from headlines that haven't even printed yet! Morning coffee and e-mail revealed a desperate request on a gigantic listserv for accomplished professional liars. Somehow, shouting this to the world will shore up flagging morale at the company in question. So consider yourself among the privileged few tipped off to the major (ahem, Patrick) indictment (cough, Ryan) that spells doooooom for the endowment of a certain Big 11 powerhouse.

Please see below for a request for a PR consultant:

>>I am looking for a media consultant to develop a plan (similar to what
>>Martha Stewart's spin-artists did), for a prominent Chicago CEO who is
>>facing a federal tax evasion indictment later this week. We want to make
>>sure that his clients and his staff remain positive, in the light of what
>>might be moving forward.

Yes, Ryan's not a CEO anymore, and obviously I have no idea which lucky corner-office autocrat is getting the Fitzgerald treatment, but why not the proud developer of ‘clawback', a neat little trick with a $190 million price tag the insurance giants worked out with each other, mano a mano?

I think this is the kind of crony capitalism that market rapturists like Hernando De Soto get so frustrated over, nominally because it impedes the efficient distribution of capital that naturally brings development and prosperity. Possibly it's frustrating because they keep producing International Monetary Fund action plans that never seem to change how the inequities of power and shielded decision-making of corporate executives that are built into capitalism actually function.